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Lightly Touching

The steadfast hands of the Swiss watch
creep in circles; they constantly brush past Roman numerals
like the churning motion of dark blue water against the hull.
Cases of grain and petroleum barrels
outnumber the people on board, and in the corner is a crate of woolen sweaters,
each with eight hand-sewn ivory buttons.
Away my ship sails.
I, the senior captain, am in control.

At night, I finger this watch band
of gold and silver criss-crosses
that so closely resembles the alleyways of Shanghai.
The chaos is safe.
A crowd swells around
the brick walls of a school building, waiting for food rations.
Bright red brushstrokes against maroon brick look
like the scales of a deep sea dragon.
I recognize the words.
Last month, my second son, with tiny fingers clutching a calligraphy pen,
traced the English alphabet and this very slogan
that shields the buildings in red.
“Love Live Chairman Mao.”

One day at sea, they say
“America is near,” and I see
a foreign mass of docks, men in blue costumes
and smoke trails that play with and perplex the sails.
We stop and go, exchanging cargo but no footprints.
I never stay too long at a port,
just like the watch hands that only touch the numerals lightly.
I don’t linger.

Back at sea, with the waves swaying in rhythm, I wonder
if there really is a mountain of gold that rises and falls with the cycling sun,
what words the alphabet can form besides
the familiar slogan,
and if they make watches there
in America.
Light and thoughts alike reflect off the smooth watch face, dancing and
discovering their surroundings.
Away my ship sails.
Behind me is a land like nothing I know.

 


 

This isn’t a new composition, but it is one I hold dear to my heart.

On a side note, this advice from Nelson Wang is the best I’ve read in a while.

We meet again

Hello world, it’s been so long since I’ve written in this blog!  I came across an old blog post by chance today, and what a coincidence, because I had been thinking recently that I would love to start writing again.  Poetry, flash fiction, reflections, anything.  I watched a TED Talk with spoken word poetry performances by Sarah Kay earlier today, and it was so inspiring.  Speech is still to me the most sacred tool – it empowers and connects people in amazing ways.

I’m in medical school now, so of course that’s my priority.  To become the most compassionate and knowledgeable physician I can be.  But I will try to make time to write.

I look back at some of my posts on the blog and cringe.  At the naivete, the cuteness, the ranting that all seems so silly now.  But I also smile fondly at the energy, the boldness, the fanciful qualities of a younger self.  Perhaps it would be better to start anew, create a new online identity. But for now, my friend, here’s to starting again!

 

First, I’d like to note that I’ve already written a 3pg paper on this tourney.  However, it doesn’t seem worthy of blogpost privileges…my writing skills have deteriorated in the summer. : ( Also, the paper was a bit boring so let me try to make this more interesting.

I competed in Varsity Policy Debate, which is essentially like walking into a clearing full of wild beasts hungry for the kill.  Policy on the mainland is completely different from policy in Hawaii.  I knew this before competing so I attempted to prepare by first researching kritiks, counterplans, and the stranger disadvantages (with everything leading to nuclear war) on Wikipedia.  Then I looked up YouTube videos of spreading, the infamous speed-reading style (punctuated with loud breaths of air…kind of like in competitive swimming) that’s common on the mainland.  Sometimes you’re only able to pick up on key words but most of the time, they’re just spewing nonsense anyways.  How does spreading teach communication skills?

People who know me are probably aware that I don’t believe in misleading optimism.  In this case, I didn’t expect to do well…and we were basically crushed. : )  Yet I still find it to be a good life experience: there’s something grand about reaching the point where you’re not at all intimidated about walking into the lion’s mouth.  I do wish that I had more fun with the rounds though.  For example, in one debate, the other team jumped from a gas tax to promote the use of alternative energy all the way to a preachy-sounding kritik on man and nature becoming one to prevent world extinction.  Back then, I had been extremely tempted to ask in cross-ex, “So, how is your relationship with nature?”  Looking back, I should have. ; )

I also did a supplementary event, expository speaking (basically a mini oration) and that was a lot more enjoyable than debate.  Even better was when we got to watch final rounds: some performances were simply breathtaking, including an impersonation of Judy Garland for Dramatic Interp, a couple of very eloquent US & International Extemp speechs, and a hilarious Oratory on the lost art of communication.

And now…onto gorgeous green Alabama!! ^ ^  I LOVED it there.  We were lost on the road (hitting dead ends & going the other way on one-way streets) half the time, but we did manage to explore the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute & the 16th St. Baptist Church next to it, a Peanut Depot (more fun than it sounds! cajun peanuts are amazing), a Steel Museum (all of our sightseeing had to be educational, obviously) at the Tannenhill Mill and Park, and go “hiking.”  Luckily for me, Schwan’s Party was even held in the McWane Science Center.  The thunderstorms in Alabama are also spectacular to watch… they really lit up the skies and lasted much longer than the ones in Hawaii.

Ahh, speaking of thunderstorms, I have a must-recount experience from our first night in Alabama.  We ate out at a Cajun restaurant and as we’re finishing up and getting ready to leave, the waitress comes by and says “Y’all be careful now.”  Then there’s a huge gust of wind (which seems to affect only our table) and the umbrella starts to jerk and spin wildly.  Everyone trys to hold the umbrella down but it eventually flies off, overturning the table and knocking all of the dishes/plastic glasses/leftover food to the ground.  I end up completely soaked in ice water & sticky bread-pudding syrup.  But it doesn’t end there!  Then it starts storming and all the lights in the area go out. : K  Freaky, yes?

This post would not be complete without mentioning Southern food.  Everything does taste better fried. ; ) Haha… the fried green tomatoes (at the original Irondale Café from the movie) were great!  Fried chicken, barbecued ribs, sweet tea, every available dessert…you really can’t go wrong with food in Alabama.  Just don’t order seafood.

Lastly, I didn’t really get to go shopping on this trip but I did find a lovely goldstone necklace at the Colorado airport. ^ ^ I love goldstone…& I got NFL (National Forensic League) souvenirs including a little red computer mouse (for my future laptop) and Ozark lollipops (have yet to try the Flaming Hot Melon one!)  That’s all for now folks.  Y’all be careful now!! ; )

Valedictorian Speech

posted at doc!’s request : ]

As for my own thoughts, I’m glad I got to say what I wanted to say minus the sappiness and plus some strands of humor.

B.F. Skinner once said, “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”  Now if there’s one thing you’ll be forgetting about today, it’s this speech.  And that’s why I won’t try to hammer in a key message or attempt to explain the secret to living a long and fulfilling life: instead I’ll sprinkle a few ideas around and we’ll see what you retain.

Some people told me that senior year was going to be the cruise year…and they are the biggest liars I’ve ever met.  I mean, colleges were more fickle about acceptances than most people are about dating, the AP workload just piled up, and senioritis became the newest form of peer pressure—everyone was doing it & the blatant indifference seemed so cool.  So congratulations, my fellow classmates, for earning the privilege to don the stunning, heat-absorbing graduation attire and to the underclassmen—sorry, but you don’t know the full meaning of survival yet.

Back to senior year.  Somehow, in the chaotic mess of papers, labs, & applications, I was roped into participating in the Real World Design Challenge, or RWDC.  You might have heard about our team of six fine young ladies winning this national engineering competition or seen us posing in cute outfits and million dollar smiles on the local news, but today I’d like to tell you more about the events that led up to the conclusion, because so often, the process is much more significant than the end result.

We were quite the eclectic, unusual team, the only all-girl group & the only RWDC participants with no members having ever been in a major science competition.  Our credentials?  To quote from our team bios, our talents & triumphs included being a “senior workaholic”, drawing “realistic fashion models”, having moved around enough to be left “confused”, being math team captain, leading the orchestra, and being vaguely referenced by a Wikipedia article.  We had no idea what we were in for, were a bit intimidated by the other teams that towered over us, but ended up designing a fuel-efficient aircraft and having fun.  I never imagined doing anything related to engineering, but I’m glad I did.  As we all head off to college, I won’t say that I hope we “don’t ever change”, because I certainly hope we all do change.  I hope you broaden your horizons, look in new and unexpected places even when you feel you lack the qualifications to do so: I hope you challenge yourself & the image others (including The CollegeBoard) have of you.

During the actual RWDC design process, we made…many mistakes, some more major than others.  There was forgetting to separate drag into components, using the wrong altitude values, and finding out we uploaded the wrong final report after the deadline.  So the message here is short: life isn’t easy.  Screwing up is inevitable.  When there’s an obstacle, when a mistake is made, accept it, persevere and move on.  Easier said than done so friends, chocolate, and the FML website are there to ease the process.

While bonding with our competitors from other states, I couldn’t keep track of the number of times people said, “Oh, you’re from Hawaii!  Yeah, I see it, your features look Hawaiian.  So, do you guys live in grass shacks and dance hula everyday?”  It was easy to smile and correct the misconceptions but then when the top three teams were announced (Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, & Hawaii), the first thing I heard was “How did Hawaii get in the final three?”  That was upsetting since we had worked hard and I certainly felt like we had a chance of winning, but let’s face it, Hawaii’s claim to fame is its sandy beaches & palm trees.  I could go into the details of exactly how much blood and sweat was put into RWDC, but there’s no need to do that.  Why?  Because you already know all about the commitment, about putting your time and every ounce of energy into something.  The six guys who made up the other Iolani RWDC team worked just as hard & were our biggest competitors.  The speech & debate, math ,science bowl, and econ teams practiced & prepared like crazy this year.  Every athletic team radiates stamina and spirit, even at 5am practices and hour-long games.  Then there’s orchestra, band, dance, chorus, IDP—think of how many rehearsals go into a single outstanding performance.  Art projects, Imua, clubs & events run by officers & prefects, the list goes on and on.  With your dedication, Class of 2009, there should be no problem proving that Hawaii’s students can excel.

Let’s not forget however, our achievements would not have been possible without certain people.  For RWDC, Dr. Inouye acted as a mentor and as a provider of food & shelter.  And yes, those last two things are very important.  For our years at Iolani, our teachers have become irreplaceable figures, and their influence will only continue to grow as we gradually realize that they’ve always had our best interests at heart.  Thank you teachers for truly educating our mind, body & spirit, for all the guidance and inspiration you provide, and for being what makes Iolani great.

And now, I would also like to thank my favorite people in the world, my parents.  Mom and dad, I still love the stories of the old days when you, as new immigrants from Shanghai, would lug twenty-pound watermelon from Times Supermarket to UH in the interest of saving bus fare money or when you were so excited after looking underneath that Coca-Cola bottlecap and realizing that it could be exchanged for a Whopper at Burger King.  And then somehow you end up paying thousands of dollars in tuition to send my dearest brother and me to private schools.  It’s hard to make sense of but I truly appreciate everything you’ve done.  Thank you to all the family members present today for your endless love and sacrifices; I hope we make you proud.

I conclude by quoting former New York City mayor, Edward Koch: “The fireworks begin today.  Each diploma is a lighted match.  Each one of you is a fuse.”  Together, let us illuminate the skies with explosive talents & multicolored dreams.  Class of 2-0-0-9, well done, today is your day!

Random Update

I love love love Susan Boyle!!! Such a talented voice & she just happens to sing my favorite songs from musicals.

It’s all been said before but I remember hearing her sing for the first time (whilst procrastinating by clicking on random Yahoo! links) and it was simply gorgeous, awe-inspiring, etc…if she were to put out a CD, it would be the first I’d ever buy.

Original Audition

Semi-finals

Finale Performance

Classes have ended for me & graduation’s in just a week!!  Part of me still can’t process the fact that 14 years of school have passed & another part of me can’t wait for everything about college (the living on my own, new people…I’ve met quite a few on Facebook and it looks like there’ll be quite a diverse & friendly group of people at JHU!), going beyond the limits of high school & trying out new activities.)  The possibilities seem endless.

Right now I’m preparing for Speech&Debate nationals in Alabama…should be verry hot but still a memorable experience!  And I’m attempting to brainstorm for a certain other speech I’ll be giving: no idea how to make it special for everyone at the moment.  Oh, and going to the Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park was spectacularly fun yesterday!!!! ^ ^ Or actually, Wet ‘n’ Wild Hawaii, now that it’s been renamed.

I might begin to update this blog more regularly over the summer…since I’ve been dying to write something for fun. : )

Blue Jay!

It’s official!

^ ^

It’s Johns Hopkins!!!

It’s a blue jay!!

The following video nearly made me cry…tears of happiness!!! ; )

Sudden

At times like this, I wish that I did believe

in an afterlife—

not for me, because I’m fine with the idea

of mixing

with damp earth, cold rain and sea salts—

but for you,

surely you deserve more meaning.

Rebirth or heaven,

it doesn’t matter.

But if it just

ends


Spring Break!

The last week has been quite eventful. March 21st is now officially Team ndc!!! Real World Design Challenge Day in Hawaii…so cute. : ] I do wish that we could have spent more time exploring D.C. (the weather was a nice change) and that the pictures I took didn’t come out so blurry and dark. You can’t really see an actual person in any of them. xD

And as a souvenir for myself, I bought myself a pretty triangular piece of amethyst from the National Museum of Natural History…I’ve always had a soft spot for jewels and minerals. I can imagine my future dream home…with sparkly black floors and collections of gemstones.

Now that there’s some downtime before the start of fourth quarter and college decisions (!!!), I can read non-school related books, sleep for extended periods of time, and browse random websites and articles, yay!

I’ve already started doing the above and I must share this article on natural phenomenon that I stumbled upon. The videos are all so pretty, especially those of the aurora and the thunder. And the moon…and the firestorm, oh what the heck, all of them. Check them out! ^ ^

And since science music videos are so cool, here’s a hilarious one on PCR!!!

To set the record straight and to end this post: ndc = not dimensionally correct.

Morrison Imitation

It seems that I haven’t posted in quite a while…life has been busy and I simply haven’t had time to write on a whim.  But after having fun with this Toni Morrison imitation short story assignment for English class, I decided to share!  Enjoy! : ]

~

 

Out of the side of her eye, she could see green clinking round and round. She saw a forest of green shadows shifting in him, and it was silent except for the fish in the river. They were fish that didn’t wait for her hands to reach out and touch them. Instead they swam away, slipping and shuddering over other cold bodies because once they stopped moving, that was it. If they stopped, they started sinking straight down, down into pretty ribbons of nothing. One, one way.

~

 

She made a note that his eyes were green as she continued to stir the remaining contents of the bowl—the fat, soggy cereal bits that had greedily swallowed all the milk. The fork made a clinking sound against the side of the bowl just like how the links on the watch still did, even after it stopped running. It surprised her that she’d only noticed his eyes now after five months. She had been more careful with Jaimie.

“Darling, were you listening?” His eyes widened with ugly concern and it annoyed her. It annoyed her when people assumed that she wasn’t paying attention because she knew more than anyone else did. She had seen this moment five months ago when his friends were still cooing over them—about how they were so perfect together and how she was the one for Michael—only she had smelled the betrayal in his cologne the very first time they met. Back in the forest when she should have seen those two disgusting pools of green.

“You’re drifting off again,” his eyes accused her before his lips thought to move.

“People usually do.”

“Claire, please. You can’t continue to live here. Move in with me.”

~

 

Jaimie had never liked green so her eyes were brown—the brown of sticky mud that coated the banks like frosting, mud that fell with the rain to engulf the fish in sweet suffocation. Two, two ways. Jaimie’s family didn’t like the place either, too woody and undeveloped they called it. They wanted to move to the city, Jaimie wanted to move to the city, and Claire knew, Claire had known since day one that Jaimie was ready to leave her. It must have been the silver watch with thirteen clinking links that clued her in, the watch that Jaimie carried around and called her “treasure” even though it clashed horribly with her brown eyes, the pretty metallic watch from the city that kept running. So it had to happen. It had to and when Jaimie drifted with the little metallic fish, her treasure stopped running. Three, three ways.

~

 

“Claire! Stop doing this to yourself. If you could just move on…” Green flashed in front of her, interrupting her thoughts—and then he was walking, he’d gotten up and he was walking to the door because he was frustrated.

If he was going to act that way, then she’d had enough too. Her hand found wet metal and she got up to follow with heart guarded and metal raised. She knew more than anyone else did and she was stronger than anyone else after dealing with so many near-losses. So the utensil came down and broke through flesh. The four claws of the fork twisted and scraped against bone in a dull resonance so unlike clinking—it surprised, then angered her that she hadn’t already known the sound would be that ugly.

He was loud and his hands were wild, but she was stronger and the fork came down again and again to pierce his neck and puncture his throat until they both tasted metallic. He was softer now and his hands fluttered like hemoglobin ribbons in a forest breeze, but his eyes were still open and green and greedily soaking in everything she had. Jaimie didn’t like that so the metal crashed down once again in silver-green discord.

Four, four ways. Four ways to stop them from leaving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

thanksgiving

There’s always something to be thankful for. : )  Thanksgiving is a simple reminder to show gratitude and compassion throughout the year.  Happy Thanksgiving!